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Is this a funny stand up routine?
the stand up routine (really rough plan)
hi im kevin and im ginger and also an athiest which is pretty easy for me considering i already dont have a soul
The worst thing about being a test tube baby is knowing that your dads a wanker
ok i like to watch those home renovation shows but i watch them in reverse it shows a family with a moderatly good house and then it gets destroyed slowly until the family is in poverty or as i like to call it julia guillard running the country
ive been learning spanish for about 2 weeks now and in that time ive discovered one thing. if i ever go to spain i will sound like the biggest pedophile. the only phrases ive learnt are how old are you where do you live and what school do you go to
well so i was walking down the street today and there was this big line for a person whith a shirt that said free hugs

this gave me a great idea, i got a shirt that said free sex
but i think the people that where in my line couldent read well because thay all slapped me
if i ever get sentenced to death by electric chair right as a last meal im gonna order unpopped corn kernels and butter
In the 1980s, the movie "Back To The Future 2" was filmed, and set in 2010. They had flying skateboards, flying cars, and shoes that tie themselves. Now, it's 2011, and last year we got Bendaroos, Pillow Pets, and Snuggies.

My friend told me there are 45671 people having sex at any moment in time, shouldn’t it be an even number
So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop, how cool is that for someone her age?
»
Last night the Dalai Lama implied that the killing of Osama bin Laden was justified. I think his exact quote was, "I love all living things, but that guy was a dick

They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life
After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan.
ive always wanted to start one of those slow clap moments like in the movies how when the main character finally gets the girl one person claps and then another followed by more and more until everyones clapping. Ive always wanted to do one of those in real life.... but in really innapropriate situations like a guys in hospital the docter tells him he has genital warts i walk in start clapping another person starts clapping then eventually ive got the whole hospital ward giving the guy a standing ovation
have you realised that having sex for the first time and a car crash are so similar it starts with you using what you think is a stretch limo and turns out its only a mini and it ends in tears and you keeep on apologizing and asking how much it will cost
called a psychic phone sex hotline and asked her what i was wearing
haha i actually liked it
Are these funny jokes?
ARE THESE FUNNY STANDUP JOKES?
the stand up routine (really rough plan)
hi im kevin and im ginger and also an athiest which is pretty easy for me considering i already dont have a soul
The worst thing about being a test tube baby is knowing that your dads a wanker
ok i like to watch those home renovation shows but i watch them in reverse it shows a family with a moderatly good house and then it gets destroyed slowly until the family is in poverty or as i like to call it julia guillard running the country
ive been learning spanish for about 2 weeks now and in that time ive discovered one thing. if i ever go to spain i will sound like the biggest pedophile. the only phrases ive learnt are how old are you where do you live and what school do you go to
well so i was walking down the street today and there was this big line for a person whith a shirt that said free hugs

this gave me a great idea, i got a shirt that said free sex
but i think the people that where in my line couldent read well because thay all slapped me
if i ever get sentenced to death by electric chair right as a last meal im gonna order unpopped corn kernels and butter
In the 1980s, the movie "Back To The Future 2" was filmed, and set in 2010. They had flying skateboards, flying cars, and shoes that tie themselves. Now, it's 2011, and last year we got Bendaroos, Pillow Pets, and Snuggies.

My friend told me there are 45671 people having sex at any moment in time, shouldn’t it be an even number
So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop, how cool is that for someone her age?
»
Last night the Dalai Lama implied that the killing of Osama bin Laden was justified. I think his exact quote was, "I love all living things, but that guy was a dick

They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life
After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan.
ive always wanted to start one of those slow clap moments like in the movies how when the main character finally gets the girl one person claps and then another followed by more and more until everyones clapping. Ive always wanted to do one of those in real life.... but in really innapropriate situations like a guys in hospital the docter tells him he has genital warts i walk in start clapping another person starts clapping then eventually ive got the whole hospital ward giving the guy a standing ovation
have you realised that having sex for the first time and a car crash are so similar it starts with you using what you think is a stretch limo and turns out its only a mini and it ends in tears and you keeep on apologizing and asking how much it will cost
called a psychic phone sex hotline and asked her what i was wearing
-some of that just K I L L E D ` me
-hahaha!
-love it
-amazinqqq(:
-<3
Revise my rough draft?
Impact of Media On Society

Each and every day, many people interact with media of many different forms. It is becoming a very important aspect of today’s society. Media is usually defined as being a channel of communication. Radio, newspapers, television, and the internet are some of the many examples of media. Since many people use media very frequently, I assume that it has a big impact on society. According to the text book Media Now, “media effects are changes in knowledge, attitude, or behavior that results from exposure to the mass media.” This paper will look at how the effects of media affect society and the main affects on today’s society- violence, prejudice, and sexual behavior.
Violent images on television, movies, and violent song lyrics, have inspired people to rape, steal, murder, and commit numerous other shootings and assaults. Over 1,000 case studies have proven that media violence can have negative affects on guyren as well. It increases aggressive and anti-social behavior, makes them less sensitive to violence and to victims of violence, and it increases their appetite for more violence in entertainment and in real life.
The psychological effects of prejudice can be devastating and last for generations. For example, when black slaves were freed, no one would hire black males and they weren’t allowed in schools in the South. That set them up for poverty, ignorance, and poor quality of life because of the depression that comes with poverty. It tears down self- esteem and people don’t feel confident or worthy. This is very dangerous in my opinion, because they can pass that attitude on to their guyren and it will continue.
Sex is another big impact, because sex is everywhere. Studies show that the more sexual content guys listen to and watch, the earlier they are to likely have sex themselves. In fact, teens report that their main source of information about sex, dating, and sexual health comes from what they see and hear in the media. It is not just movies and television. Music, video games, and the internet are also filled with sexually explicit, degrading messages that can shape guys’ attitudes about sex.
In conclusion, violence, prejudice, and sexual behavior in media have a big impact on society. Although, parents can not always monitor their guys, they should at least talk to them and make sure they know what is appropriate and inappropriate.
Yes, right away, sir! Just hold your breath.
What can I do with this girl in the winter time?
So I am seeing this girl, and I was just laid off... So I don't know what I can do with her for free in the rough winter weather. It usually just ends up with us sitting on a couch watching a movie and rounding the bases. But yanno I feel bad that I just have sex with her and dont do any other acitivities. If you have any suggestions let me know.
Cook dinner, checkers, chest, cards, dominoes, cocktail drinks, cheap wine, massage her feet, back, head.
QUESTION! DO GUYS ACTUALLY LIKE MAKING LOVE?
HM OK SO. I kno that guys love sex. and I know that they have very big sex drives and pretty much are always ready and craving sex. and alot of guys watch tons of pornography go to strip clubs etc etc

however. do guys actually like making love with a girl? no not SEX. not bending a girl over and doing her from behind. but actual love making. you know, the kind of stuff you see in love scenes in movies,. with lots of kissing and caressing and gentleness and eye contact etc etc. I guess my vision is kind of that guys dont really like that whole way of sex. theyd rather do it fast and rough and quick,like porn. but then they make love just to satisfy their girlfriends and wives bcuz women are more emotional about sex and often link sex and love and emotion. i guess i kinda figure that if guys had it their way, all the time,. theyd just do it rough and crazy and from the back. they only make love sometimes bcuz their girl wants to.

maybe im wrong. feel free to enlighten me
coming from one of the biggest man whores...lol
ive had **** buddies and girls Ive really really deeply cared for

YES we do, who you have sex with and how u have sex Completely depends the girl and what she means to you

some girls id take my time be extremely gentle, loving and ectt
other girls id bend over and go crazy lol

what ive learned between the two is, when u do it with someone u actually like and have feelings for it feeelss soooo muchh better

and i believe there is no right way to have sex.... all it is, is a guys thing moving in and out of a girls thing
so i doubt if guys had there way all the time, it would jus be hard and fast,
every dude is different and same with girls.... u can make love and can still hit it from the back!
there is no SET way on making love, just beccause u see it done a certain way in the movies and stuff doesnt mean thats reality and/or actuality

but over all, YES guys LOVE making LOVE
which is why its called love !!
:D
Why did he text this back?!?
been dating this guy for 4 months now..we aren't exclusive yet but it's b/c he wants to take things slow..he's been very hurt by his past relationships and is a bit scared of commitment due to this (I can see this by just how much time i've spent with him)...

we are VERY close emotionally (nothing physical yet..he's held my hand, hugs me alot, rubs my back and loves to sit close to me but no kissing and no sex-he won't do those things w/out commitment). we are so close that we can feel what the other one is feeling and we think the same things at the same time constantly.

we hit a bit of a rough patch this weekend b/c I was starting to get frustrated w/him b/c he'd be very affectionate towards me when he drinks but not as much when he's sober. I've been told that the reason for this is b/c when he drinks, he acts the way he really wants us to be like when he's been drinking. I ended up putting too much pressure on him and he almost ended things. but he told me that he just couldn't do it b/c he cared about me and liked me too much...he even stopped asking me to go out for a few days b/c he thought I was mad at him and didn't want to see him anymore..such a sweetheart. I apologized to him and told him I was just going to enjoy our time together from now on and see where it takes us. I told him I liked him a alot and didn't want him out of my life

things have gotten better and we watched a movie at his house tonite (we've done this 4 times now). after the movie was over, he played his guitar for me, and we watched silly videos on youtube for awhile. while there, he asked how my week had been b/c we'd had such a rough weekend. I apologized again for treating him so badly and he said it was ok and that he understood why I was frustrated but asked me to stick with him b/c things would get better. I was there for 4 hours. He then walked me to my car and asked me again if I was ok when we got out there..I grabbed him gently by his waist and pulled him into a hug (he seemed to really like this b/c he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tight)..I told him I was doing great...I said that him and I were going to be just fine and to please stop worrying. I then told him I loved being around him..he was quiet for a few seconds then partially pulled out of our hug to look me in the eyes and said "I love hanging out with you too" he then pulled me back into our hug for a bit longer then he said he'd see me on monday (my next free day) and we said goodnight. he even asked what other movies we had lined up to watch (so I know he wants to continue doing that)..

I texted him when I got home saying "thanks for letting me come watch the movie with you. I had fun.gnite"

he texted back "no, thank you. have a good night"

thought his response was kind of weird..was he trying to be sweet or just nice/friendly?!
He was very thankful that you were able to forgive him. He was also probably really happy because of all the nice things you said to him.

So he said that because he really appreciated what you said to him that night. He wasn't trying to "be" anything... He just spoke and said what was in his heart. It's pretty obvious this guy really cares about you now.
Why did he say this?!?
been dating this guy for 4 months now..we aren't exclusive yet but it's b/c he wants to take things slow..he's been very hurt by his past relationships and is a bit scared of commitment due to this (I can see this by just how much time i've spent with him)...

we are VERY close emotionally (nothing physical yet..he's held my hand, hugs me alot, rubs my back and loves to sit close to me but no kissing and no sex-he won't do those things w/out commitment). we are so close that we can feel what the other one is feeling and we think the same things at the same time constantly.

we hit a bit of a rough patch this weekend b/c I was starting to get frustrated w/him b/c he'd be very affectionate towards me when he drinks but not as much when he's sober. I've been told that the reason for this is b/c when he drinks, he acts the way he really wants us to be like when he's been drinking. I ended up putting too much pressure on him and he almost ended things. but he told me that he just couldn't do it b/c he cared about me and liked me too much...he even stopped asking me to go out for a few days b/c he thought I was mad at him and didn't want to see him anymore..such a sweetheart. I apologized to him and told him I was just going to enjoy our time together from now on and see where it takes us. I told him I liked him a alot and didn't want him out of my life

things have gotten better and we watched a movie at his house tonite (we've done this 4 times now). after the movie was over, he played his guitar for me, and we watched silly videos on youtube for awhile. while there, he asked how my week had been b/c we'd had such a rough weekend. I apologized again for treating him so badly and he said it was ok and that he understood why I was frustrated but asked me to stick with him b/c things would get better. I was there for 4 hours. He then walked me to my car and asked me again if I was ok when we got out there..I grabbed him gently by his waist and pulled him into a hug (he seemed to really like this b/c he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tight)..I told him I was doing great...I said that him and I were going to be just fine and to please stop worrying. I then told him I loved being around him..he was quiet for a few seconds then partially pulled out of our hug to look me in the eyes and said "I love hanging out with you too" he then pulled me back into our hug for a bit longer then he said he'd see me on monday (my next free day) and we said goodnight. he even asked what other movies we had lined up to watch (so I know he wants to continue doing that)..

I texted him when I got home saying "thanks for letting me come watch the movie with you. I had fun.gnite"

he texted back "no, thank you. have a good night"

what did he mean by that? I somewhat think he said "no, thank you" b/c I told him I wouldn't pressure him anymore and loved being near him...

thoughts?
He means thanks for coming to my house to watch the movie and that he enjoyed it too. (In other words no! I want to thank you for coming!!!) Wish u guys luck!! Please answer my question!!!
answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AluqtvORtmFlqexv_j.Teqbty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110331235754AAyiVe9
Does "Love" Really Exist?
Rhetorical question...
Of course not...
Ha, just busting your chops...
I'm free for a debate, there's no share of sexist females on here,
Nor their counterpart "perverted guy pals", to I agree...

I'm obviously not really gonna be able to respond to anybody,
Feel free to post YOUR views on this,
Like the one-post message board that this is...

My conclusion (in the form of the average male):
I go out with my friends and call them, go to the movies...
I give them gifts, we spend the night at each other's house...
We share problems together, we tell each other secrets...

Yet, with a girl, that might (and, probably will) make her my girlfriend...
They can't both be the same... and if that were the thing, then it'd be based on mutual relations...

Now, if I called a girl "my friend", and we were gonna, or were going out, she'd get rather tempered...
"Let's just be friends" means what???
Is this sexual???
In my eyes, love (relationship love), is nothing more than admiration, lust, sexual desires LIKE lust, and a weird string of obsessions...

If it weren't based on looks, then you can't really say you going out.
That's assuming you actually don't make-out...
That's why you go out, right, to kiss, make out, have sex.
That's why your parents had sex to get you here, they "loved each other"...

If you have a relationship based on personality, then you're obviously calling the other person ugly...

For the majority of guys I've met ("I'd bang her"), they seem to go for the one that is the most pretty, and literally pray that she has a decent personality...

If not, they have to deal with it... and I think that's where most of these "problems" occur...
What problems, though, going to the movies, making-out...
Sounds hard, don't blow your back out on any of these rough-patches...

Most girls I've seen get jealous when their guy is with one of his friends, and she'll give him the silent treatment...
Then they have the fight, then the big movie moment resolve...
I'm sure you've watched enough romantic comedy movies to understand this...

Most people in a relationship (particularly the adolescent ones) go out to the movies, or do an activity... if one partner isn't happy, then they suddenly lose interest, and go after a new fish from the sea, probably out of sexual boredom...

Why do people cheat? For the exact same reason...
That sexual excitement was never really there...
People try too hard to hollow their heart, this has no emotional value...
I'm not expecting anyone not to have a sex drive, but at least try to masturbate more... get your head straight, mates...

I dunno, that's just all tossycock, though...
What do you guys think about this...

What are YOUR opinions on love...
And remember, nobody has a right one, I just wanna hear your guy's side of it... should be good for a read for just about everyone...

Anywho, take care now - Matt
Well it all depends on what you believe. If you don't believe it exists, then the fact of the matter will be that love doesn't exist, however that's only for you. If you believe it does, then it will. But who knows what love really is? People don't stop to think about it, they just think it's an 'emotion', but what is this emotion made of? Your combination of lust, desire, sexualness, etc. that could still be love, just by your definition. Others believe love is a feeling deeper than caring, but stronger than liking. For me personally I believe in love, but I believe there are different types of love, like I don't love my boyfriend the way I love my brother, the difference that separates the two (for me) is that the emotions that make up the love for my boyfriend are completely different than the ones for my brother, but to me they are 'my' definition of love.
How to get my friend to like me more than just a friend?
Hi so recently I've started falling for one of my friends because when it comes to relationships we've got the exact same taste and likes and dislikes and the guy she likes is trying to pressure her into having sex with him so shes going to tell him they shouldn't be friends anymore which is good on my half because shes technically free and I could make my move, we've gone to the movies twice but as friends and I always guy around saying shes a terrible date that she doesn't kiss me good bye and that she wouldn't let me put my arm around her and she gets a kick from it, any suggestions? she likes eyes and she thinks mine are awesome :D there Blue with Grey, but she likes Mature buff, rough guys who play guitars and I'm taller than she is but I'm not rough, buff or etc.. etc..
You cant make somebody like you.. You can just be yourself and see what happens. You can also tell her how you feel, because if she has a crush on you, she is probably just as confused. Be yourself, smile, and have fun. It will all work out the way its meant to be :]
Very Cheap Boyfriend?
I've been with my bf for about a year (its a long distance relationship, he lives in Alaska, I live in Illinois). Airline tickets are very expensive for him to visit me...I get that. But he makes lots of promises which he rarely keeps (he's gonna take me on a trip to Mexico, trip to Las Vegas, trip to Germany etc, which never manifested). He never takes me out unless someone else is paying for it (friends of his sister have connections and often gets free tickets...free concerts...free coupons for food etc...). He has yet to buy me dinner during this entire year. He took me to the movies twice but didn't buy food, offered to take me to Subway for lunch once (I suggested a better place), once took me to a sushi place but only spent about $10 as he didn't eat himself and bought me takeout chinese food once. Most recently, in the past 5 months, he's been claiming he's working on a multi-million dollar deal. Each month it's, "the deal is gonna come through this week or the next". I'm not a materialistic person at all, but I do like to be treated some time, you know? What girl doesn't? Well, he's in town this entire summer (I insisted so I could see what he's really made of -- if not crap, lol). Well what really pissed me off is my car is really old, so I just drive in the neighborhood and my job which is very close to home. But my bf has been asking me to drive him all over town so he can look at houses because he says once he gets his "big money" he's gonna move here (I insisted he pay for gas) and anyway, my car broke down, and I had to have it towed ($100 out of my pocket). The engine is ruined because of dirty oil. My bf is an engineer (supposedly)...shouldn't he have checked the oil for me right? The last straw was the next day was my birthday. He said, "I guess when it rains it pours. The bank froze my account so I can't take you out on your brithday". So I we went out so as not to be depressed on my birthday, but I paid for it. I also paid for all the food for a 4th of July barbeque we hosted at my house the day before. So I'm feeling really used. The sex is off the chain but that's pretty much it. Is this guy using me? Am I'm being unreasonable to expect to be taken out during these rough ecomonic times?
I think you could dump the loser i mean your cheap boy-friend .. why? become he said he working on a multimillion dollar deal oh come on do you really believe that..? let be real here who pay thing all times you do right..?! and on top of that didn't even take you out on your own birthday, you have paid for it.. Don't get me start on the 4th july thing sound like me you being used and being unreasonable to expect to be taken out during these rough economic times?
good luck

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